Everyone man comes to a point in his life where he must ask himself "If I was Oprah how would I thank the people that made me rich and famous and still remain true to my black urban roots".
If you're Oprah the answer to that question is "Buy Everyone KFC". Yes that's right.
Today Oprah announced just that from her Oprah Compound in Oprahville in state that will soon be bought and renamed "Oprahoma". The execs over at Harpo and KFC must've had a great think tank on this one.
Let me take you though the thought process (as I imagine it)
Exec 1: We need a big giveaway to boost ratings
Exec 2: We don't want to alienate our "ethnic" viewers by making Oprah seem like she "lost her Roots" - like the movie "Roots" if you catch my drift.
Exec 1: We need a corporate sponsor that appeals to those who suffer from "excess melanin" that isn't a malt liquor or cigarette company...... They still like fried chicken right?
Exec 3: We can't giveaway pot yet right? How about crack... Is giving away crack in these communities passe or can we get away with it?
Exec 2: The CIA already did that promotion in 80's, we need something new.
Exec 1: I've got KFC on one line and the Army on the other, KFC says they'll give free chicken to everyone if you can ensure that the ethnic people who want it most will never be able to redeem the coupons.
Exec 3: What about the Army?
Exec 2: Free trip to Iraq and a college scholarship if you don't get killed... of course they're lying about the college thing. Let's go with KFC.
Exec 1: How can we make these coupons unaccessible to the "ethnics"?
Exec 3: Back in the 50's you could just put up a sign. I miss the 50's.
Exec 2: The internet. Black people don't know how to use the internet... Just post these "coupons" online and it'll like a wild goose chase to them. 40 acres and a mule all over again!
Watch out Oprah or you'll have a scene like this brewing!
Oprah's attempt at reparations has just turned into another "40 acres and mule"
Also I would like to mention that Oprah's supposedly "educated viewers" (middle class yentas) would:
1. Never be caught dead in a KFC
2. Never be caught dead using a coupon
Also my people (the white trash) also run into the same problems as the "ethnics" with Oprah's little joke.
To sum it up I'd like to quote Marie Antionette "Let them eat cake!" and wonder will Oprah's "let them eat chicken" be the moment that defines how out of touch with reality she is?
Update: The day after posting this the whole promotion blew up in Oprah's face, as I predicted, here's some audio from it.
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