Barack Obama Doesn't Care About Mole People!

As representative of the Moloid peoples and the dwellers of Subterranea I must speak out about the great injustices being perpetrated against underground dwellers by one called “Barack Obama”.

For too long Subterranean Americans have been kept in the dark (figure of speech we like being in the actual dark, damn your surface metaphors.) as to the running of the country we dwell beneath. We are sick of the topographically top percent making all the decisions as to who can dig where, whose drills can screw our cavernous cities, who gets to steal our precious elemental resources, and rape our mole women (okay, nobody has tried to rape our mole women even our most beautiful supermodel Ruth Bader Ginsberg). It is time we take a hunched over stand!

During his campaign and repeatedly after Barack Obama has promised to plunge the world into darkness promising to fund solar initiatives aimed at draining the awful sun of its power via absorption by solar panels. Three years later the sun still sits in the sky a constant terrorist threat to the Moloids, yet Obama has promised to make America safer! Why does this promise not extend to subterranea?

Name one pro-moleman initiative Barack Obama has supported? I bet you can’t.

Worse he pleads ignorance of our problems. When BP’s gross ignorance caused a cave-in at the city of Rocklar with their drunken pococurante drill poking he just let them walk away with no burning in the molten pits below. When the dome of great city of Hothdar cracked letting in awful, awful sunlight who was out there handing out spf 1000 sunscreen? Not Obama. To this day the Hothdarians still must hide in the surrounding caverns during your pitiful hours of sunlight. FEMA has forgotten about us.

Only the Republican and Tea Parties have adequately represented our interest in eliminating the surface dwellers. Some with this idea called “rapture” in which they do everything possible to hasten their own demise from dimming education, handing nuclear weapons to contentious careless aggressors, and facilitating the mass production of carcinogens that simulate the hot molten conditions of the lower underworld.

Until the surface world is plunged into eternal darkness I stand by my statement.

Barack Obama doesn’t care about mole people.

What's Do It Yourself Anarchy Productions About?: A Revisionist History

This is comedy.

It all started years ago with blogging for my friends and pussy. It moved forward from that point to freelance writing for a slew of comedy sites eventually culminating in opening my own site Daily American.us (now defunct). The Daily American started as a place to put satirical articles I wrote that for some reason (racist, sexist, rape jokes, pro-sodomy agenda) never got picked up. It started out as a fake news site with a variety of columns from a "What If?" column showcasing what may have happened if overhyped media stories such as "killer bees" and "Y2K" actually lived up to the hype to a column showcasing racist antiques from the past. Realizing just how many news satire sites there were out there I decided to reinvent the site into the World's first Tabloid Satire site (it was even interactive and made to look exactly like the front page of a supermarket tabloid). Basically I spread blatant fake stories about celebrities from Miley Cyrus being the club footed product of incest to Norm Macdonald bravely rescuing 13 prostitutes from a burning building (while taking his money back). Unfortunately the site took time I didn't have and didn't produce any revenue (I may post whats left of the archives at a later date).

After bumming around writing screen/teleplays I realized I need a new outlet for my random comedy pieces so I'm starting up a blog with millions of other people.

Prepare to be dazzled with mediocrity!

P.S. I've written under the names of Dr. Intoxicated, Justintoxicated (the same one who does photoshops for Toucher and Rich), Doc Tox, Anonymously, Bob Namos, and Eugel Weiss (That I remember)

If you're interested in my writing or columns please drop me a line. If you want to post my stuff elsewhere please contact me first (most likely I'll give you an emphatic "yes" and wish to brag to my enemies, if not bjuy me a couple drinks and that yes will be sure to come out)




All material is the copyrighted property of Do It Yourself Anarchy Productions and it's creator/owner (excluding external links) and may not be reproduced or used without express permission. The material, views, and ideas expressed are meant as satire/parody and should not be taken as defamation. All rights reserved 2009.