Business professionals and members of government aren’t going to listen to some white dude with dreads, in fact no one should ever listen to a white dude with dreads for any reason. Your lute solo or fatty dank grilled cheese sandwich won’t get marijuana legalized either. In fact anything you have to offer won’t help unless you have tons of money to fund lawyers, economists, and scientists. Chances are you will not be able to raise this kind of money selling beads and glass pieces in a 7-11 parking lot.
Look at the people looking to keep pot illegal. These people have scientists, economists, doctors, and lawyers, on their side willing to tow their line. Pro legalization side does too, but the difference is we have tye dyed bongo players and people who advocate cop killing donning $200 high tops with rims on them as well. To illustrate my point let’s a take a look at the marijuana pro-legalization side of the debate (Paraphrased of course as I am not a scientist, economist, or lawyer).
Scientist: Marijuana has proven effective in treating a range of illnesses, from glaucoma to stimulating appetite in chemotherapy patients, also it appears to have relatively few side effects compared to many of the drugs used to treat the same conditions. Also THC is a unique molecule that stimulates the neuroreceptor responsible for forgetting memories which may lead to new autism treatments if it is legalized and studied.
Legal Professional: The cost of prosecuting, arresting, and jailing marijuana users ludicrously exorbitant. The legal system would benefit financially while reducing prison overcrowding and unclogging the courts if marijuana was decriminalized. (Of course lawyers and private prisons do make tons of money defending said potheads).
Economist: While some industries such as the private prison complex, big pharma, and ethanol will face some losses taxation on marijuana it will create new industries and stimulate existing industries that may prove more sustainable with lower overhead cost. New drug patents based on marijuana and new process patents for processing hemp into textiles will offer American companies room for growth and an advantage over foreign competitors. Though the recreational use of the drug will also be a large part of this it will become taxed and controlled generating state, local, and federal revenue.
Pothead: Legalize pot you fascists! I wanna get high as fuck and sit on my ass, maybe listen to the new Phish album. Snooch to the booch!
Alright one of these is not like the others, one of these things just doesn’t belong, if you guess which thing is not like the other, then you’re probably not stoned.
Time for an unnecessary but possibly funny analogy, let’s say you’re at a town hall meeting and there is a proposal to build a park up on the docket. The proposed park is a great idea, but a nearby company has also shown interest in turning the land the proposed park would be on into a dumping ground. They have money behind them even if their purpose isn’t the best for the community. So the first guy gets up to speak in front of the town council, he’s the principal of the school and he says “the kids in this town need a place to go after school, some good wholesome place where they can run and play”. The council agrees with his point. Next is the head of the town beautification committee, some obnoxious insufferable cunt she says “this park could greatly beautify the city and is a great addition to or town even if it attracts children”. Alright that hurdle has been passed the bitch agrees next up is the tourism board fruit. This guy minces on up and says straight up “the park will bring tourist revenue to our community, I don’t see why we haven’t done it already.”. Then right before the town council is about to approve the park the town pedophile stands up and says “yeah that park is a great idea man, a park full of children, that is so fucking hot man! Go park!”. The council decides to hold off on decision until next meeting. The meeting comes along and everyone is more prepared, charts, analysis the whole works, desperately trying distance the park from the idea of a pedophile single’s bar. The park is about to finally pass and the pedophile and some of his pedophile buddies bust in with signs that say “approve molestation park!” then he gets up and makes a speech about how the park will attract tourism in the form of more pedophiles peppering his speech with creepy sexual innuendos about children. The council decides that they’ll hold off on the decision until the pedophile stuff dies down. This angers the pedophiles so they organize a pro-park benefit concert, Gary Glitter, Lou Perleman, Justin Bieber all play the concert, cartoons are shown and enough money is raised to buy the land, build the park, and provide maintenance for the next 50 years. This causes a scandal soon the rational people who wanted the park have been drowned out by the pedophiles, soon the whole town is screaming that they don’t want a park because all the goddamn pedophiles. The park fails, the dump is built.
Pedophiles claim to love the kids that they hurt.
Potheads claim to love the pot they hurt.
Sometimes you should shut up and let the lawyers do the talking.
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